smashedperderders

tehawesome:

Dear John Cusack,

I noticed you just joined Twitter.  Congratulations!  Twitter’s a great way to share your thoughts and experiences with people on a very personal level. Here are some tips that I think will help you get the most out of Twitter:

1. You can refer to someone by their Twitter username and it’ll automatically become a hyperlink to their Twitter page.  Example: “I think @shockozulu was great in Identity.  Best portrayal of a detective-inside-a-serial-killer’s-mind I’ve ever seen.”  Just by typing your name, Twitter turns it into a link.
2. Speaking of identity, you should identify yourself better!  Put your name under the “Name” section of your profile.  I think it’s cool that you went with something other than @JohnCusack as your Twitter name, but the faster people can immediately see that you’re you, the better!
3. Holy shit were you good in High Fidelity.
4. You can fit a couple sentences into one tweet.  Three of your tweets from yesterday could have been one. “Everybody follow @paulhipp. He’s great, and he could use the followers!”  It’s as easy as giving the paperboy two dollars! (Although didn’t the paperboy die on the mountain at the end of Better Off Dead?  So, uh, nevermind.)
5. The way you post your tweets is important.  Must Love Dogs? More like Must Love Proper Spelling and Punctuation.  Ok, so formatting isn’t that important but it’s something worth considering.
6. Oh man, isn’t it crazy that you were fighting against John Malkovich in Con Air and then two years later you were crawling around inside his head in Being John Malkovich?  I remember the late 90s as a time when great actors named John were always fighting each other over an airplane full of convicts / John Malkovich’s head.
7. You can shorten web addresses with websites like bit.ly or tr.im so you have more room for commentary about your links in your tweets.
8. Do you still live in Chicago?  If so, do you want to get a beer some time?

I hope you found this guide helpful, Mr. Cusack!  I think you’re a swell actor and I wish you the best of luck with Twitter.