smashedperderders

Someone says “I do declare”.

Sookie offers someone a sweet tea.

Sookie says “Bill Compton, I can take care of myself” and then he has to rescue her.

Jessica loses her virginity.
—
True Blood Drinking Game
NOW I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED FOR THIS SEASON. PHIL IS THE BEST.

fuiru:

The new season of True Blood starts next week so I thought I’d come up with a way of enjoying the show and getting pissed at the same time. Basically, when any of the following things happen, take a drink from your glass (unless indicated otherwise). Please feel free to reblog and add your own! Have fun!

· Someone says “Sookeh” (just take a sip, you don’t want to get too drunk too soon)

· Someone says “Ah’ve been expecting yew”

· Jason Stackhouse says a malapropism (humorously misusing a word)

· Jason Stackhouse humorously misuses the word “malapropism” (finish your drink)

· Someone addresses another character by their first and last names in a formal fashion, despite being quite familiar with each other…

· …despite the fact that they’ve had sex (2 drinks)

· …while they’re having sex (finish your drink)

· Sookie and Tara have an argument and end their friendship

· Sookie and Tara make friends again having previously ended their friendship at some point

· Sookie and Tara have an argument, end their friendship and then make friends again all in the same episode (finish your drink)

· Bill Compton keeps a secret from Sookie ‘for her own good’

· Bill Compton has an expression ike a small boy who just experienced a kick to the balls for the very first time

· Eric does something very un-eric-like as comic relief

· Pam’s veneer of sneering couldn’t-care-less hard-ass bitchery is briefly undermined

· Sam Merlotte makes a really really stupid decision that makes you want punch him

· …the decision is to have sex with someone he obviously shouldn’t be having sex with (2 drinks)

· Jason Stackhouse has sex and the camera concentrates on his glistening abs (only the ladies drink)

· Sookie has sex and the camera concentrates on her glistening breasts (only the men drink)

· A character of authority refuses to believe in someone’s account of something paranormal, despite having previously experienced a shitload of crazy paranormal shit

· Sookie looks longingly at the photo of her grandmother and the moment is ruined by the fact that the photo is really badly photoshopped

· Heavy-handed ‘vampires as representative of persecuted homosexual minority’ allegory

· Heavy-handed ‘vampires as representative of persecuted mutant X-Men minority’ allegory (Finish all drinks)

· A new character is introduced and it is made clear that they have a terrible secret…

· …and that secret is supernatural (two drinks)

· A new class of supernatural character is introduced (i.e. not vampire, werewolf, shape-shifter, witch, fairy, Minotaur, werepanther, telepath, etc)

· …giant robots are introduced (drink everything in the world)

· Every time someone who has read the books says “so-and-so died at the end of book one so this is all new” or “that character doesn’t really feature in the books” or “this is really a minor subplot in a different book” take a drink and punch them.

· A new character is introduced and you’re sure you know them from something, was it Homicide: Life on the Streets? No, it’s something else…maybe there were on Boston Legal one time? (Continuous drinking while IMDB is open)